I dont understand Feminism

I don’t understand feminism
After all, men don’t write poems about being men
Scanning through pages, thick with words like
“Voluptuous” and “Mother” and
“Vagina”
and I don’t understand it.
Is something wrong with me, I wonder
That I haven’t felt a need to contemplate the form my body takes
It is simply
what it is and can never be anything else
But what it is.

I don’t understand feminism
I don’t understand the anger at things that have already ended
Or are as inevitable as living
Discrimination exists regardless of role
You WILL be judged by everyone who is not you
But that doesn’t mean you must do it too,
And so harshly.
That is what they are there for, but
You are there to not pay attention
how can they say what you aught to be
They are not you.
They will never know
your story, even if you tell it.

I don’t understand feminism.
The desperate call to
“love who you are” and “who you are is beautiful”
and things that go without saying
Reiteration takes its force from denial,
as one trying to convince theirself
How hard is it to just accept who you are and then just
Be.
I don’t understand the fighting.

I don’t understand feminism but
I understand the daily shift
The bizarre twist of the self that is not you
Changing out of control
Hair and
Blood and
Body
Where there didn’t used to be
I understand
Facing a mirror with the knowledge that
My face today is not what it was yesterday
Or what it will be tomorrow
That child’s cheeks have acquired
Freckles and acne and
Will acquire
Wrinkles and hair

I don’t understand feminism but
I understand confusion
When what I thought I was, wasn’t the same as
What other people thought I was
Where individuality is preached but somehow im still not good enough?
I understand feeling lost in a labyrinth
Where it everyone else seems to have
A better idea of the right direction

I don’t understand feminism but
I understand eyes watching, scrutinizing
I understand hunger
Eyes eating up the me that is not me
Should I be flattered? No. Should I be offended?
I don’t think so.
I know I shouldn’t accept this but….

I don’t understand feminism but
I understand fear and
Wanting and
Hands and
Trying to scream around them.
I understand that hate and heartbreak and being used
Are all things that happen
In this world
Where bad things happen to ensure the balance

I don’t understand feminism but
I understand the WE
That draws power from alikeness
Collective conscious of experiences unique
I feel my connections
Holding us linked
Differently to each other than we are to others
And I understand

But I don’t understand feminism.

deliverance aka the 'i cant ryhme without sounding like a fool' poem

Unborn, your comprehension
In silence, dormant sleeps
Bound up by that deception
Which hearts and secrets keeps

Desire given ego
Takes shape by what’s to come
The countdown reaches zero
Before the moon will kiss the sun

Till when? I know,
These things shall also die
Till when? I know I know
In faith again we sigh
In faith, we sigh “I know”

my name is not edgar allen poe

Lone black crow
Perched behind my house
Facing the road
Feeling filling in my belly

I couldn’t see what he saw
His gaze was fixed forward
And when I looked again
He had flown

sometime early in september

Your bones rise out of the desert
Blue faded timbers, rising from the dunes
from the sand
from the sunrise
Whale ribs bending prison striped shadows cast in dust and singing of
Stillness and
Redemption
And all things inevitable

Windcast tones born over hallows
Breath bearing life
Sinking into my skin
Stretching over words, filling empty spaces
Havens untouched, locked tight treasure
Chest filled with renewal
Your bones sing to me

Birds loosed in unison
among dreams unleashed
These timbers moan
Aching sweetly.
Darkly. Keel low inside me, almost
Running aground.

Mast drawn and straining to rest
Foreshadows of dawn just touching the edges with
Tide ebbing back at
White bone feet, blue timbers
And in the morning, echoes fill these hills with silence.

0924

Its like
Okay
Yeah
I get it
Done
Over
Yes I see
Okay?
Point taken.
I got the hint.
And that’s fine
Okay?
Fine.
Didn’t
Really
Want




….anything





From you that is.
Doesn’t matter to me
I just thought,
But if not….
And that’s fine.
Ya know?
Okay with me
Unless of course…
And in which case I don’t care
But ya know
If its cool with you
Then you know where I stand.

092308

You heard me
But i
Wasn’t watching
Or didn’t believe you
Or (probably) both
After god only knows
How long
Why should i?
So I kept doing
Whatever I was doing
And you kept listening
To whatever I was saying
And I kept
Not seeing
Past my own bullshit

Roman candle birthday cake

Vomit boils with delight
Gleeful acid bubbles
Swarming up my throat's hot passage
Claustrophobic and tired with misuse
Bursting in my mouth
And I sick up everything
Chocolate clover car accidents
Unspoken fears, nervous ticks,
Pastel colored conformities
Conscious and subconscious insecurities
Bad dreams spill over my feet and up my face.
And I lick my fingers
I hide this mess of me

hmph

She’s so awesome
How could I not believe you
And I don’t
Don’t want to
No I don’t

She’s completely beautiful
And I’m intimidated
There’s no competition to be had here
But I maintain attention
Just in case

And I don’t believe you
Languishing in denial
Naming it hope, for lack of other options
Obstinately refusing
Cuz one of these times
I’m going to come out on top

hella emo

Was it merely blindness
That led to such deceit
Your vicious acts accomplished
Left me downing my relief

Untrained words, unpracticed hearts
Quake uncertain with misuse
Bind my thoughts in expectation
Again all hell comes breaking lose

And already repercussions
Form battalions in my head
But from this foresight, hesitation
Is the price I pay instead

092008

I can not

Think
About
.....

I can stop this

Train
Before it reaches critical mass
Or at least look away

I can save this

Addiction

For late night indulgence
Lonely winter fantasies
Instead of my daily fix
I can cut back

Wayward thoughts

Prune constant reminders
The little things
That I will not dwell on

-stereotypical indie poem (warning, may contain sarcasm)

True to form
We paint exteriors
More shoddy than what lay underneath
With dreams of grandeur
Calling like
Your gentle whispers guiding me across the water
Peaches at sunrise

Henry

In gods unholy name why
You stole all our songs of laughter
I cant hear them anymore without crying
Turned them into bitter memories
For what?
Made me the culprit

And how could I have known?
So much more I could have done
But how could I have known
It would come to this
Took our friendship and made it into something else

Imbalance of power
And all our memories turned bitter bitter bitter
For what?

I
could not have known

Only imagine
everything I might have done

You wouldn’t believe how much I think of,
You wouldn’t have done it if you knew how much I think of
And all the things I might have said

091908

Its not the first time
But that doesn’t bug me, not as much as
Knowing
It wont be the last.
That I will watch this again
Each time remembering all the others
And how much I don’t want
To watch this again

homogenous

Shame eating up my insides
Again and again
Ears not working right
One hour, two, three
Echoes still ringing
Confident
My jaw hurting from
Bent-up retorts
Your blind by choice bigotry
Tongue sore with biting back
And I know I’ve earned each ache
To keep the peace?
Echoes sounding hallow
Self scorn bites deep
But still unsatisfied
Feast dragging on long in the night

091908

Pieces of my sanity
Scattered all over
The room upstairs
Is a mess.
Everything accounted for
But the chaos,
Astounding .

Never the type to keep things neat and tidy
I maintain a system.
Inefficient
But still working.
Disorganized piles of like subject
Key items in plain view.

Problems arise when in need
Of what lies buried underneath
Searches breed frustration
I know I could contain this
If I only tried

mentiras

Tasty tasty lies
Mmmmmmm…. Sweet
Going down
Like syrup
Coming back up
Less
So much for intoxication

Filling in the blanks

Who am I to tell you what would be_____
What would be_____
What would make you_____
What would ____
How can I say such things
Me
With my small words
My little learning
Little life
Everything I know I’ve heard from someone
Who heard it from someone
Who heard it somewhere
Irrefutable, no doubt.
Me, who couldn’t this morning decide between Rasberry
Or Peach Mango Yogurt
Don’t look to me to tell you whats________
Cuz I couldn’t tell you

DC

So this
Is the East Coast

So this is
DC

I can hear you on the subway
I can see you in the headlights
Of multinational vehicles
Feel you in every historical tidbit
Of every fast talking tourist guide

Another badly planned family vacation
Breathing in acceptance
Breathing out daydreams
Of days long past
Of days long in coming

Your specter warming my neck
With constant reminders
I’ve missed the last train out of here.

081808 ____ drops by

Is this how its always going to be now?
Meticulous
Moving words
Around
Silences
Forcing Familiarity
Wanted or not.
Playing games of
“Do you Remember?”
and
“Have you Seen”

Is this gonna be another one of those things
I leave behind

Moments of ease
Rising like waves out of the past
Peaking suddenly
Then gone.

And I realize I don’t know this person
This person.

0918

I can see it as much as I cant
Residue of some former love
Still holding things together
And I cant tell yet
What kind of glue was used
How long it will hold up
Or if it matters
And is that enough

Brittle Bone Oak Riddle/Coconut Cream

Sweet pie delight
Under melted moonlight
These stars shine too bright for my eyes

Burnt and hollow with age
Like a bird in its cage
Looking out from my house to the sky

Dana

Still beside me across the country
We
Are not going anywhere
Without our past.

Imprinted on our hands
You bring it out of me
Your presence bears light
And I light up in turn

pretty self explanatory i think

Regret
Tastes metallic
Aching cold and sharp
Born in my mouth
Birthed on my words
Transported via ear channel
To incubate inside my skull
Growth spread slowly throughout
My body
Expanding to fill places under skin
You swell with each breath
Living on the memory of sins
I feed you with my thoughts
Parasitic and hungry
You fuel my imagination
With daydreams
Longing to make things different

091808

I guess things aren’t what I thought
Nothing really
Heel turning up the stairs
So I retired to the couch
Head hurting with hangover
And unspoken rejection

You know, I didn’t want you
And I’m not just saying that
You’re a fucking idiot
Nothing you say is funny
I didn’t want anything to do with you

Your body on the other hand
It and I get along
Quite agreeably actually
Quite nicely. We get along
Your body rocking the world of my body
It and I might have gone out for a picnic of pleasure
Chinking our glasses together
Downing the contents to forget what we don’t like about each other

But your words are ridiculous
I’d tell you to use that mouth for anything but talking
But you’ve already told me goodnight

091708

Tripping on contradictions
All these feelings are a result of something-
That signifies that I should-
Which is because of my upbringing-
And shows that im-

And yes i know already.

And if know, does that cancel it out?
10,000 reasons for every perceived problem
muddled up in mixed up sensations
what am I feeling and why am I feeling and what in hells name does that mean
12,000 solutions
do I have to be so analytical?
Keeping everything aligned in my head is so much more work than I remember
15 hundred things I need to do or not
The regular bullshit of mindless moments keeps on accumulating
Into ever increasing trashing heaps
Flies swarming

Caught between regularity and forced action
I have excuses for everything and I don’t know anything anymore
Except that this will soon cease
But that doesnt help it happen any faster

091608

Its this weird sensation
Of knowing
So precisely
Of being
Utterly incapable
Of
Time still passing
Feeling useless with waiting

instigation

Id like to see a surgeon
And have you cut
Straight from my head
Your tumor of thought
You’ve become invasive,
Malignant, imagination.
Entering thoughts and places where
I don’t want you
Times and spaces, uninvited
And im fucking sick of it

Doesn’t that make you cancerous?
You’re bad from my health and you keep spreading
Each day a little more you inside of me
And im fucking sick of it

Breaking myself open to get at the pieces of you
Lodged beneath the skin
Twelve layers deep
But im peeling away
Eradicating this infestation

You’re so much apart of me now
Amputation is the only cure
And I don’t give a damn
If a part of me is lost
By cutting you away
Only natural to expect
Some bit of me would always hold on

Will I miss you my sweet disease
Miss you eating me alive?
I want to be numb to this operation,
Will the cure hurts as much as the symptom?
Addicted to suffering I guess

So medicate me doctor
Take me under and take away
Every part of me
Still attached to you
Im ready to be rid of this.

091508

Stress blocking blood
I cant think
This unwanted guest
wont be ushered out
Futile attempts
To outmaneuver
Logic hiding defeated.
Traces of anxiety lurk
Everything becomes a symptom
In the search for a solution
Scouring thoughts for a source
Strangely morose
And unjustly so
Fuck off feeling
You are
Unwelcome.

i have no idea where this came from

Theres an ocean in my belly
Swaying with the light of the moon
And its Full of Little fishes swimming
From morn till brightest noon

And when the night sky flowers
My fishies go to sleep
And when my love stands near me
They dance and jump and leap

Singing
Why oh why
Do the fish in the sky
Do the fish in the sky sing oh why
Oh why oh why
Are there fish in the sky
And they’re singing yes they’re singing oh why to me

And the fishes make wishes, on under sea stars
as they swim with the blue spotted whales
And the whales in my belly (made from raspberry jelly)
In whalesong, are whispering tales

Singing
In whale-ish we speak
So our songs you will keep
Locked away quite as tight as a clam
Through our moaning and groaning
You’ll decipher a toning
That sighs like the waves on the sand.
Sighing in, sighing out on the sand.

So they sing through the night
To the pale white moonlight
And the ring in the vaulted round sky
But so softly they sing
Like a pelicans wing
That you’ll never again hear me cry.
No, Ill sing till the day that I die.

Singing
Why oh why
Are there fish in the sky
Are there fish who are singing to me
Oh why oh why
Are these fish in the sky
And they’re singing and sighing
Oh why are they singing to me

091308

The place between eardrum and comprehension
Is long and windy
And crowded with echoes
En route gone astray
So excuse me a minute
If your words got lost on the way
Or if hints of their significance
impeded the delivery
Of whatever you had to say

Sonny

Your body gone
But I remember you
Eyes smiling
Your grin unfiltered
And I knew when I saw you
I should’ve known
I should’ve known that
I should’ve known

Your voice gone
But I remember you
Long bearded laughter
And how you always said hello
Your greetings bright each time I saw you
And I didn’t see
I didn’t see that
I didn’t see

Your words gone
But I remember you
Deep seated thoughts unrushed by circumstance
You stood like an oak
And oh how we loved you
Basking in your shade
We loved to love you

And your spirit stays.
Legacy and honor living on
In more part after your departure
Your spirit stays.

_____

i think of you and its
sweet like summer laughter
free and unchecked
twisting through smoke
curling to fill the spaces between us
till theres no distance at all

i think of you and its
grinning faced sunshine
a fountain breaking down all my walls of
all my unspoken words right to
my core where every smile that you smile that I smile
lives flashing in time to blood born pulsations

i think of you and its
hard biting bitterness
and the burning taste of regret
for all the unsaid things
that should have stayed that way
and all the silent words
i waited too long to free

i think of you and its
trust reborn in a different skin
not quite fitting
still weak legged shaky
with unfamiliarity
careful but stronger this time

i think of you and its
too much sometimes
to think and breathe in unison
air wont fit into lungs overcrowded with
traces of, oh what i have missed.

i think of you and its
long achey nights knowing I’ve
never wanted anything thing this surely.
Finger of thought tracing the edges
where we meet up so perfectly

i think of you and its
missing the best and the worst
of all the little things i never saw as
i was still stirring from sleep.
When your gaze was my sunrise
just touching the cheek.

09/10

these exits arent made easier by repetition
time and tide striking with unforeseen fatality
no more than a ripple
once noted, born away in tumultuous waters
the lesson learned is not one of acceptance
but of inevitability
that this will occur again unendingly
set to be played on sick repeat
over and over and over
and over
the waiting intensifies the reaction
strings taught to breaking
chord wrapped tight
tearing skin right open

sweet tooth

the sky is a vast chocolate cake
blue velvet so rich with frosting
one bite would be
much more than i could take

and all the stars are
broken candy bars
scattered across the deep milky way

taste of cool whip breeze
hint
of mint
just to tease
sweet cream dreamy
like kisses of air

with your JELLiE bean eyes
twice as full as the skies
gumdrop freckles
rice paper hair

Sugar burning my brain
Leaving teeth candy stained
Sending shivers from my head to your feet

this sweet tooth building tales
through fudge kitchen trails
in a summer i wish i could eat

090908

Strange. And stranger.
Weirdly shifty
Like not quite, what?
But then again, maybe so.
Encircling conundrums,
Come
Then speedily go

0908

Twice now
In passing it seems
We bump the elbows of
Awkward conversation.
This isn’t forced politeness
But uncomfortable desperation
Wanting to enjoy this and
Why cant it be like it used to
Easy
Neither admitting the inevitable
But fearing
we have become our parents after all.

090708

Hot night dreams.
When chill midnight seeps into my bedroom,
Intermingling with air
still stale from the day

Recollecting,
Your hands
On my hands
On your-
On my-

And I don’t care about any of the things I’ve cared about before
Washed away
Burnt from my head with your hot hands
And I don’t even mind.
Ferocity and intoxication
And I don’t even mind
For once.

Your mouth making me want more
Your mouth making me- oh.
And again.
Room clouding with little gasps
Rising like steam off our bodies
Till I don’t know how to breathe

And its better than I ever thought it could be.
With you making me-
Making you-
And its better than I ever thought.

090608

My brother is getting married
And im not ready.
Relatives I didn’t even know existed arrive to bustle and make busy around the house. But somehow always find time to catch me in a corner, and ask me what im doing with my life. Flowers, and tulle, and paper lanterns settle over everything like a white powdered veil of misguided dreams. Not that that’s cynical or anything.

My brother is getting married, and I am leaving the anthill with the dog tugging on my arm and music battering my ear drums. Skipping through back trails and brush, behind closed eye windows of white washed suburbia I scramble. Stopping to light and relight my joint when the wooding becomes thick enough. My dog wanders over and sniffs around my ankles. I keep moving upwind to outwalk green-stained air.

My brother is getting married and I’m walking around the field, lost in transient-type thoughts. I take my dog off the leash and he runs through the dandelions, sending wishes flying like my whims on the wind. I wander to the swings. Chase follows, looking stardust frosted with dandy-seed-aeronauts stuck in his fur.

My brother is getting married and I am standing, one foot rocking this black tar rubber cradle when I see you on the far end of the field. Leaping off the swing Chase and I run across the dirt. Twin red comet tails streaming behind us.
I cant recognize you, but I know my hair’s distinctive shine will give me away to anyone from the area. And who else would come here? I circle the outer edge of the field, feeling like a bird of prey, and picking my way down to the lower playground, watching your back as I get closer. Watching your shaggy locks sway as you and the soccer ball bounce off each other,
-and for a second I think its you.

My brother is getting married and as much as I know I am over you, nothing has prepared me for the way my heart stopped at the thought of seeing you in this place.
And I had spent the last two years making it mine again.
730 dizzying turns in orbit to dry erase the memories of you and me in this place, until the way he moved- like you used to- brought them back in a flood.
And even when I see his little boy face, I still duck behind pine tree skirts and walk the chain-link path between blackberry brambles and spiky fern bushes instead.

My brother is getting married. And I follow the dirt path wherever it leads me. Leading me I think to the bent tree fork I used to perch in, centuries ago it seems now, Cheshire grin matched only by the stars above me. But city zoning has cut a jagged path through this neck of the woods. Tree gone, neon red tags tell me which other memories are marked for uprooting.
My dog catches scent of something intriguing and tugs at his leash. I let his persistence lead me home.

090408

Chrome and steel angels, burn apart blue skies
Over lands I cant even imagine
And death turned bitter
Comes like our Northwestern rain
In ways and places
I cant possibly conceive.

And my best efforts are paltry.
Timid at best, my small outcries fall
On dead ears of politicians
And dead bodies of sons and brothers
Lovers and students.
Fathers and mothers.

My words are broken.
Made lifeless under siege.

September

Goodbyes churn,
burning in my belly
Like the liquor I drank the night before

Your glances singe my cheeks,
Wounds lingering fresh, sharp stinging
Confessions of past sins

And I love you more than ever
With your arm around hers
And your words in my brain
I love you more than ever

090408

Blackberry stained summer
Biting almost
With its sweet tartness
Reminding that
Yes,
I still live.
With all that entails
Yes, my lungs still fill
With air
And smoke
And mirth
Still tighten with
Unwanted thoughts
Strayed south from my head
Wrecking havoc on my insides.
Yes, I am still alive
Sunshine and leisure making bright the colors
Bright the flavors
Bright moments passing,
With speed unreal
Wearing themselves into my skin.
Yes, I still feel.
Yes, I still breathe in
Lifeblood and incense kalidescoping within and without.
Yes, I still exhale

_____ - 090208

….and you were my favorite.
You my love.
You kept me laughing and dancing
and wanting to go further than before.
You were too much love
and I didn’t know how to receive you.

-Leaving-090308

Skin achy shaking
My lungs cant keep up with my
Heart cant keep up with my
Blood pounding through veins over
Skin
feeling stretched
Senses shocked
That these things not physical
Can have an effect.

Refusing to believe its over
gone by so fast so fast, so fast right by me
Days peeled back like pages of a diary
One chapter finished.
Rereads not permitted.
“But god can it really be ending?
Just one more month
For love, another month is all
And I swear this time I’ll really taste it”

Regardless, I know the savor would be bitter with anticipation
No, I lived in those hours
I have felt these moments passing.

But no, no not really.

I know,
And I know I will return
But this moment, this moment-

Pages come unglued
Float free through my head
Turning all my thoughts into paper tree dreams
Sunlight filtered into fire
And I will wait for these heady days to return in their time.

Odd.

Blackberry cobbler for breakfast
Its thick sweetness filling my mouth
Bitter black seeds filling the cracks between teeth
I wash the dishes to kill time
Chunks floating through soap till my nose starts to bleed
Odd. I dreamt of blood last night
Filling dishes in the living room.
We’re out of tissue and toilet paper
I use a red patterned valentines day napkin instead.
This crazy substitution cant continue.

Um..... july?

That’s a thousand dollar smile at least.
The kind that nature didn’t give you.
Nope.
Your mother paid someone for that sly grin you wear.

I see it when ypu walk in the room and look at me.
I see your teeth, beautiful white and even.
Your mother paid someone a lot of money so that you could shine them at me.

I remember how she told me you were a slut.
Talking, reading your poem out loud.
Mouth shaping words shaping pictures.
I remember her saying you use your art or music or poetry to get into girls pants.
You keep making eye contact. I keep observing and acting unimpressed.

june twenty something. maybe july.

I hear it first.

From the upstairs window,
a kind of cold rushing creeps through the house and I move downstairs to the kitchen, as the rain begins. Slowly at first. Settling in like a thick damp blanket of grey, just touching the skin.

The strawberries are in a cardboard-foam box. I take them from the refrigerator, place them in the steel sink bottom, and switch on the faucet. Watch the water run over.
Rivulets forming glassy veins. Entwining ruby heartbeats.

Outside, raindrops are beading onto blades of grass. Collecting and sliding down. Tense and alert with the chill of the shower. The faucet squeaks off.
I lift the container to the countertop, and tip it on its side. Spilling berries across black granite. Jumbling and bumping like round red acrobats turning tricks.

Water is accumulating on the trees now. Gathering and dropping off the leaves. Dripping droplets below.

I balance my hand flat over the fruit, palm down, just resting against slick skin, and rotate my hand in slow wide circles. Berries revolve and roll underneath. Tumbling fat red somersaults.

Silver worms shiver down the window pane. Drops tapping down hard from the ledge above the window. Puddles forming on the porch.
I scoop the berries up in hand and walk to the door.

Step out of my slippers and into the downpour.

The rain is falling loud and heavy now. Hurtling from the sky with a kind of ferocity. Grass making stringy wet curtains around my feet, blades bent over in submission with the force of the assault. And I can hardly see through it.
The only sound is rushing water.

Beneath the maple at the south end of the yard is a patch of dirt, where only a few green hairs live out of sight of the sun. The earth here is saturated. Heavy and wet.
My toes sink right in.
Hands tighten with excitement. Feet tensing. Toes clench.

I twist in and down. Around. And again. Squelching. Stomping. Turning. Toes squeezing. Heel driving. Hands gripping.

Stomping and stretching. Mud and Juice. Tighten and release. Tighten,

-release.

Reverse polarity

I caught those glances
The ones you sent my way, unaware, that I was.
Caught them all. Held and kept them
For safe keeping and later review.
Funny thing about hindsight
Each time I look back, is different than I remember

How quickly turn the days and hours.
Shuffling by,
Burnt out leaves of autumn, caught in freezing embrace.
Bright life that moves in flashes
Fade, then quickly passes.

These sparks keep me warm now.
Roles reversed, I study your form
For signs of recognition.

Sometime in May

Sickness sore muscles and my throat feels like utter shit.
Sticky purple cough syrup will taste vile. Sticky purple taste reminding me of grape Smirnoff, reminding me of my first time getting trashed, reminding me of ‘the ex’ and that car ride from hell. Or toward.
Tea will be better.

Purple was the color of dana’s minivan door, sliding shut with a click on the day she left for Eugene.
Cardboard boxes and boxes, till the door rolled shut.
‘Click’, not ‘Slam’.
Captured moments encased behind glass. Sure ain’t no sunshine in Seattle.

How do I get myself into positions like this? How the hell do I get out?
I feel like a fucking pretzel, except maybe less salty.

“Are you leaving already?”
“Yes, we have to get going”
Nowhere and no reason.

My room is becoming a junkyard.
….cleanliness is overrated anyway.