091708

Tripping on contradictions
All these feelings are a result of something-
That signifies that I should-
Which is because of my upbringing-
And shows that im-

And yes i know already.

And if know, does that cancel it out?
10,000 reasons for every perceived problem
muddled up in mixed up sensations
what am I feeling and why am I feeling and what in hells name does that mean
12,000 solutions
do I have to be so analytical?
Keeping everything aligned in my head is so much more work than I remember
15 hundred things I need to do or not
The regular bullshit of mindless moments keeps on accumulating
Into ever increasing trashing heaps
Flies swarming

Caught between regularity and forced action
I have excuses for everything and I don’t know anything anymore
Except that this will soon cease
But that doesnt help it happen any faster